And They Were Lost to Her
by BeaValkyrie
Summary: One Sunday, Druella thinks back on the choices her daughters have made. Owluvr's Mother's Day Challenge at HPFC.


**Hello! Written for owluvr's Mother's Day Challenge at the HPFC Forum.**

Druella sat by the window of the parlour and gazed out of the window. The day was grey and dreary, rain falling in a ceaseless pour from the sky, unrelenting, hammering on the windows and the roof. Black Manor was not the most accommodating place at the best of times, but on days like this...

On days like this, Druella wished she wasn't so lonely. Of course, there was Cygnus. The man she'd promised to love and to cherish until the final blow of death came to them, but Druella had made those vows thinking of society and its expectations, not of emotions or passion.

Their marriage had been arranged, like those of her daughters, but in time, Druella had come to like the man who had been chosen for her. However, despite his loyalty, his noble attitude and apparent wisdom, he was not the one for her. Truth be told, Druella didn't think she'd ever been in love. It was sad, but true.

A certain fondness had grown between the two of them, and of course they behaved as they should have. They got on well, and they were friends, in a manner of speaking. Children had, of course, been expected of them. Druella knew Cygnus had been disappointed not to have a male heir, but Druella had been convinced that the girls would grow up to be the epitome of pure blood society, dutiful, aristocratic, beautiful and proud.

And they had been, for a while.

Bellatrix was the eldest. Her first born child, Bellatrix was a true beauty. Cygnus had feigned joy at her birth, but Druella had seen the irritation in his eyes, the annoyance at not having an heir, having a child of the weaker sex.

But she had grown, and she had prospered. Blessed with the traditional Black good looks and intelligence, she'd always been destined for great things. But, Druella thought, there was a terrible darkness inside her eldest daughter which ran deeper than the usual teenage rebellion.

Perhaps Druella should have been worried when Bellatrix, at the age of 14, had begun showing an interest in the Death Eaters, when at 16 she'd taken the mark, quickly rising through the ranks until she sat at the right hand of the Dark Lord. But Druella had been desperate for Cygnus not to be disappointed in their children, so she had overlooked the darker aspects of Bellatrix's occupation. And she continued to do so.

She heard things, terrible things about what her eldest daughter had done, the pain she had caused, the blood she had spilled. And when Bellatrix visited, there was an aura of unpredictability about her, and Druella had no doubt that Bellatrix would not balk at harming her own family if the Dark Lord asked her to.

And so Bellatrix was lost to her.

Andromeda had been next. Andromeda was like a toned down version of Bellatrix, people had always said. The same aristocratic looks, but muted somehow. Her hair was not so dark, her eyes were not so wild, her beauty was not as radiant, but she was lovely nonetheless. Never one for the social airs and graces of their traditional pureblood society, Andromeda had always been the odd one out.

Druella had been grateful for Andromeda's compliance, her apparent respect for her family. Although she did not enjoy the things she was obliged to do, the events she was obliged to attend, she did them anyway, mostly for Druella's sake.

When Andromeda had been born, Cygnus had only portrayed stony silence, did not even feign happiness as he had done at their first daughter's birth. He'd left the room, leaving Druella close to tears and the servants unsure of what to do.

Andromeda had always had impeccable manners, been a perfect student. Bellatrix before her had also been a brilliant student during her Hogwarts years, but her good grades had been marred by her outlandish, cruel behaviour. But the rumours had circulated soon enough, and it had come back to Cygnus and Druella that Andromeda had been fraternising with Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, half bloods, _and mudbloods_. Druella had been shocked – Andromeda had never participated in the normal bullying, never been like most other Slytherins at all, but she had never before shown such blatant disregard for her heritage.

Cygnus had raged for days. But that was nothing compared to the day that Druella had swept into Andromeda's room the day after she graduated from Hogwarts, expecting her to be preparing for her coming-out ball, where she would be presented to many of the most eligible, _pureblood_, bachelors in their circle of acquaintances, and eventually become engaged to one of them, and instead found the room empty and a note on the bed.

The note had detailed Andromeda's decision to elope with the mud blood, Tonks, and marry him. She wrote of her anger for their prejudices, and her remorse at leaving them.

She had signed the note_, Andie_, a nickname which Druella had always discouraged – it was the last step to throwing off her parentage and her past, and beginning a new life. Druella had cried, Cygnus had searched for her, but they never found her. Bellatrix said that she'd probably found protection with the Order of the Phoenix, Albus Dumbledore's new organisation. By this time, Bellatrix had been elevated to the highest position in the ranks of the Death Eaters, and was fuming when she heard of Andromeda's betrayal. Narcissa had been silent, tears rolling down her pale cheeks.

And so Andromeda was lost to her.

Narcissa had been the third. Cygnus had not even been present at her birth. Another disappointment, he said. Of the three of them, Narcissa was the one who seemed most likely to fulfil all of their expectations. She made a good marriage as soon as she left Hogwarts, and not long after that had a son, another pureblood heir.

Narcissa was the most like Druella herself. She had the Rosier looks, not the Black ones. Blonde hair and a tiny figure, and cloudy grey eyes. Narcissa had always been compliant, always been aloof and yet kind, the perfect example of a pureblood wife.

She was a dutiful wife and mother, often visited Druella to tell her about what she was doing. She was the only one of her daughters who Druella saw on a regular basis.

But recently she'd stopped visiting, had been too preoccupied with worry for her son and her husband, her husband especially. When Lucius had become a Death Eater, it had been Narcissa's place to support him, and what else could she do?

And so Narcissa was lost to her.

On days like this, Druella wished she wasn't so lonely. On days like this, Druella cried for the ones that she'd lost, her pretty girls who, like Druella, had made all the wrong choices.

**Please review!**

**x Bea**


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